a real long one

sigh

Complicated-minded. Yet there are some responses i must give, to whom it concern - plurals.

This is not the first time i admitted that my awareness is low. But people tend to forget it. I wouldn't know how you feel if you didn't speak out. I wouldn't know anything if you are silence. I am not god. I can't read your mind. Yes, hints gave but i just don't understand. I know something is trying to imply. I sense something. I am not numb. Yet i don't know what's that. Being frank is the only way. Regardless of what response i will give.

At this moment, i myself don't know what i want. That's why people around me suffering. Because of my indecisive; people got hurt; people worried; people feel trouble. I see all the problems that i've made. And i don't see any solution now. Things got stuck and nothing you can do until i get know of what i really want. Sorry is what i can say. Although sorry no cure.

Stressful is what i feel. I just gotta be aware of what i speak so your little tiny heart won't get hurt again. Over caring? i will treat it as that way, to make me feel better. I know we both had hard time. I know you're hiding as well cause i saw your fake smiles and fake laughs. I don't know it's my problem or your problem.  That's why i don't know how to solve it as well.

And i have more challenges i gotta face. Internship, studies, health, family etc etc which i can't list out all. Let's just pray that everything will goes fine real soon because i don't know how long i can stay strong like this. And seriously I don't know when i will breakdown..